The surgeons office called today to let me know that my insurance carrier has approved my gastric bypass surgery. I was not feeling well today and was napping when the call came in. I wish Carl had woken me up, as this is the news I have been waiting for since last week. Ahhh well, no biggie really. I will call in the morning and schedule my surgery. I am excited and nervous. I have to admit after spending 35 days in the hospital 2 years ago before, during and after having Lily I am not looking forward to another surgery. I do worry that I might die, I mean, they make you sign a paper saying that you understand that you could die from this procedure. I feel like I need to take the risk, at this weight, I am dying slowly every day. I want to be able to run and play with Lily, I want to be here to see her grow up. I want to be here for Cody, I want to see him get his life in order and be happy. I love my family. I love my husband, kids and siblings. They are my heart.